


Quantifiable

by ChokolatteJedi



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Clones, Community: stargate_pad, Episode Tag, Episode: s04e10 This Mortal Coil, F/M, Missing Scene, One Shot, Replicators
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-09-02
Updated: 2008-09-02
Packaged: 2017-10-14 21:03:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/153439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChokolatteJedi/pseuds/ChokolatteJedi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This Mortal Coil from the replicator's perspective</p>
            </blockquote>





	Quantifiable

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the stargate pairing a day challenge and watching _This Mortal Coil_ too many times. :D

"I'm sorry it's come to this," the Replicator said as it approached the holding cell, hoping its smile appeared sincere.

"Listen to me" the human known as Weir demanded, stepping closer to the bars. "You have probed our minds. You know everything that possibly can be known about us, so you should realize that we will never accept this. No matter how many times you wipe our memories, we'll always figure it out."

Sheppard leaned forward against the bars and grinned. "She's right. We're genetically predisposed to being annoying and really pesky."

"I understand what you are saying, but you have to understand our position." The Replicator allowed its smile to falter. "You do experiments on other creatures in order to improve your own way of life. We are merely doing the same. We need to understand the aspect of your existence known as the soul in order to improve our own chances at ascending."

The subject called McKay gaped at her. "So, what, we're j-j-just _lab rats?"_

The Replicator shook its head, partially in negation and partially in sorrow. "You will not be damaged, merely reset," it reiterated. It could not understand why the humans objected so strenuously to this process. Replicators were reabsorbed into the collective and created new bodies all the time.

"If you erase our memories and everything else that makes us who we are, this will be nothing more than a wasted opportunity" Weir paused, her eyes locking onto it's, "a failed experiment. You know what that feels like."

The Replicator nodded, appreciating the irony. "That's what our Creators considered us. Failed experiments." But unlike the Creators, they would not abandon their creations. They would merely run a new simulation.

"Well, now's your chance to prove 'em wrong!" Sheppard declared, seeming to misinterpret the meaning behind its words.

"I have no reason to prove anything to my Creators," the Replicator said. "We will merely run the program again." Before the humans could protest again, it signaled to its companion, who was waiting in the shadows.

The other Replicator immediately stunned the five occupants of the cell, and they watched calmly as the subjects fell to the ground. Once they were all unconscious, the second tapped its earpiece. "Get the thought processor online."

The first nodded approval of the order and then looked back at the five test subjects. "Version four, terminated, Begin version five."

)(o)(

The Replicator called Keller listened as the test subject Weir described the human condition.

Emotion.

That was want it came down to. Humans had emotion and Replicators didn't. Something in the human brain, one of their many chemical reactants, triggered a response that was called emotion. There were negative emotions and positive ones, as well as some that seemed to provoke a confused muddle in some humans. It was a very odd system, to be sure, but somehow those chemical emotions were the key to Ascension.

The Replicators wasn't entirely sure yet how the chemicals could induce such different reactions as love and hate in one person, particularly at the same time, but that was the point of this experiment. The Replicator Keller wanted to figure out how the chemicals in human brains created emotion.

It was something that was initially biological, but that didn't mean that it was inherently impossible to make a completely chemical version. They wanted to figure out how the chemical in human brains created emotion. Once they knew the exact science of it, they could figure out a way to synthesize it, to incorporate it into the Replicator body. Once they experienced emotions, they would be one step closer to understanding ascension.

They would need to expose the subjects to every kind of emotional stimulus they could think of, and hope to collect enough data to form a basic chemical composition. Once they had that, they could incorporate it into a Replicator test subject and see how the human subjects interacted with it. And they had to do it all before Oberoth found them.

)(o)(

"I'm sorry it's come to this," the Replicator Keller said as she approached the holding cell, adopting a sincere smile.

"Listen to me" Weir demanded, standing up and crossing to the cell door. "You have been inside our minds. You know everything there is to know about us, so you should know we will never accept this. No matter how many times you wipe our memories, we'll always figure it out."

Sheppard looked up from his seat and smirked coldly. "She's right. We're genetically predisposed to being stubborn, and really annoying."

"I understand what you are saying, but you have to understand our position." The Replicator Keller insisted. "We have no other option. Oberoth has been searching for us since Niam defected. We have limited recourses, and limited time. It is only a matter of when we will be found, not if. We need to learn as much from you as possible before we are forced to abandon this outpost."

Sheppard jumped to his feet, outraged. "So, what, we're just _collateral damage?"_

"Why should we care if the other Replicators destroy you?" Ronan demanded, appearing intimidating even through the call bars.

The Replicator Keller frowned, unused to such hostility from the test subjects. "If Oberoth finds us, he will destroy you as well." She had found that they had a great interest in self-preservation, which she could perhaps draw on.

"Well if we're just clones, why does that matter?" Sheppard demanded, his lip curling up.

The Replicator Keller was slightly taken aback at his tone, but she quickly pasted a smile on her face again. "You are real humans in every way that matters," she declared, assuming that would convince them. "We do not intend to damage you, merely… reset you to a certain point."

"If you erase our memories and everything else that makes us who we are, this will be nothing more than a wasted opportunity" Weir paused, her eyes locking onto Keller's, "a failed experiment. You know what that feels like."

The Replicator Keller nodded, beginning to feel annoyance that the humans insisted on bringing that up every time they spoke. "That's what our Creators considered us. Failed experiments." But she had not abandoned her experiments.

"Well, now's your chance to prove 'em wrong!" Sheppard declared, again misinterpreting her reaction.

"I'm sorry." The Replicator Keller said.

At her words, the Replicator Lorne stepped into the room and immediately stunned the five occupants of the cell. When they fell to the ground, unconscious, he tapped his earpiece. "Zalenka, we need the thought processor again."

The Replicator Keller ignored his actions in favor of staring at the humans who were laying before her. "So much for version nine," she said softly.

)(o)(

The Replicator Keller listened again as Weir insisted that it was impossible to quantify human emotion. Having heard the words many times, she understood the thinking behind them, but the concept of a soul couldn't be as black and white as the human woman was insisting. They refused to believe that humans could have souls and Replicators couldn't, period. Their dreams of ascending would not be shut down so callously. In fact, now that she had learned more about the way that emotions worked, Keller recognized that some emotions were actually experienced by some Replicators.

She knew that Oberoth felt the emotion _pride_ , but she had doubts as to whether _pride_ was an actual emotion, as opposed to a mindset. Regardless, he definitely felt the emotion _hate_ for their Lantian creators, as did some of the others in his group. Many went along with him out of a logic-born decision that they should extract revenge upon their human siblings, but some did feel true _hate._

Keller had never felt such _hate_ before. At most, if pressed to describe her opinion, Keller supposed she felt apathy, tinged with sadness. She didn't like being considered a failed experiment, but rather than blaming her creators, she blamed their mindsets. She felt bad for the Lantians who were unable to look past the fact that the replicators were not perfect creations. The Lantians could not understand that though the replicators were not the intended outcome, they were a valid creation in their own right.

But Keller's thoughts on her creators weren't based out of emotion. They were reasoned and considered and born out of intellect. She didn't feel any of the other emotions she had witnessed - _envy, anger, fear, shock, confusion, apathy,_ or _joy._ She had come close, she thought, to excitement about this project, but it was again a sequential, logical, thought. The project could lead to synthesizing emotions, which could lead to humanity, which could lead to ascension, which she wanted. She was understandably eager to see it succeed. But was that really an emotion?

)(o)(

"I'm sorry it's come to this," Lorne said calmly, watching Elizabeth and the others pace in the cell. From the shadows of the room, Keller watched the byplay, interested in the way the group would react to someone other than her.

"Listen to me" Elizabeth demanded, stepping closer to the bars. "You have been inside our minds. You know everything that possibly can be known about us, so you should realize that we will never accept this. No matter how many times you wipe our memories, we'll always figure it out."

Sheppard glared at Lorne. "She's right. We're genetically predisposed to being pains in the ass."

"Yeah, well, look at it from our point of view," Lorne said, adjusting his hands behind his back. "We have no other option. Oberoth is too powerful. He has already drawn many of us back into the collective. We have been forced to abandon one planet, and are running out of resources. It is only a matter of time until we are found again."

"So?" Ronon growled.

"So? So if he destroys this city, he destroys you too." Lorne replied, a hint of mockery in his tone. "From what we understand, humans don't like to be destroyed any more than we do."

Ronon just snarled and stepped closer to the bars, a feral scowl on his face.

"And you think you know so much about us?" McKay demanded.

Keller noted that he was being unusually sarcastic, as was John, which was interesting. When she had talked to the group, it was usually Elizabeth who spoke, with Sheppard and Teyla interjecting comments and pleas often. McKay and Ronan rarely spoke to her. They would have to do more investigating into this phenomenon. Was it the contrast between military and medical, or between male and female, or simply personality differences that inspired the change in reactions.

"You're trying to understand what it means to be human, right? You want to know what qualities might eventually lead to Ascension?" Elizabeth joined the conversation for only the second time. "You can start with compassion. Humanity. Caring for others besides yourselves."

"We care more than you might think." Lorne replied, voice soft. Though he didn't look at her, Keller knew he was thinking of her, of their relationship. "We are trying to make a difference."

"I'm sorry," Keller said, stepping out of the shadows. As the group turned to look at her, she raised her stunner and took them all out. "I'm sorry, group seventeen," she whispered.

)(o)(

"You're part of Niam's group," Elizabeth declared.

Technically, Liam was part of Keller and Lorne's group, but that was inconsequential. "Most were reprogrammed, but some of us managed to stay hidden within the collective."

"And you think by studying us you'll discover the _secret ingredient?"_ Elizabeth sounded skeptical.

You are all fully human. You have the same minds as your original selves, the same thoughts, the same emotions. More importantly you have something that's always eluded us. Something that kept your kind apart from the very beginning and made you special in the eyes of our creators. You would call it a soul. It is that secret ingredient you referred to… the key to ascension.

Keller tried to reassure her, to explain, but she had a little trouble finding the words she wanted. At last she settled on repeating what she had said often to past Elizabeths. "Everything is quantifiable."

"Now you sound like Oberoth." Elizabeth scoffed.

Before, that comment had annoyed Keller, but this time she considered it. Perhaps being a little like Oberoth was not a bad thing. Oberoth _hated._ It was a negative emotion, hate, but it was an emotion. Perhaps something about Oberoth was to be emulated, though not in the same negative and overwhelming fashion.

Instead of trying to explain that to Elizabeth, Keller decided to tell her something they had recently learned. "The others have given up on Ascension. They're destroying human populations throughout the galaxy as a tactic in their war with the Wraith. They're consumed with hatred and revenge." Keller paused, again searching for the right words. "We believe there's another path."

"Why are you telling me all this?" Elizabeth had an odd expression on her face that Keller could not quite place.

Because I want you to so something about it, Keller wanted to say. Instead she replied as Elizabeth would expect her to. "You're open-minded. And it's important that we gauge your reactions."

"Why?"

"So we can avoid the same mistakes next time," she said with finality.

As expected, Elizabeth gaped at her, then demanded more information. Keller answered her succinctly, explaining about the experiment, and then sent her away, but unlike before, her mind was not on the task. Instead she was thinking about what Elizabeth had said. Elizabeth had insisted, again, that Replicators couldn't have souls, couldn't have emotion. The words made sense, but Keller was having doubts.

The whole idea of emotion had once been a mystery to her, but now she was recognizing that she _had_ experienced emotions, particularly in relation to Lorne. Of course, he was called Lonneh when they met, but they had been masquerading as Keller and Lorne for so long that she hardly thought of him as Lonneh anymore.

For Lorne she felt emotion, or the closest thing she had to emotion. For Lorne she felt love.

She had had other sexual partners in the past, having lived for so many thousands of years, but Lorne was different. Lorne she _loved,_ and he loved her. She hadn't realized what the strange feelings had meant until they started the experiments, but she had known that they were different.

It was possible that their feelings for each other had been what prompted their determination to acquire a soul. Not yet realizing that it was a true emotion, they had begun to explore their feeling, trying to understand. Hoping to understand.

It was their fascination with feelings that had led Lorne and Keller to start these experiments, gathering others of like mind to them and eventually creating a replication of Atlantis in which to house their living experiment.

From what Weir was telling her, Keller and Lorne might be closer to ascension than they thought. If their love was truly an emotion, perhaps they could, in time, feel other emotions. Perhaps Keller's excitement, and Oberoth's pride, his hate, Lorne's worry… perhaps they were all emotions. Perhaps they _could_ develop a soul.

)(o)(

"I'm sorry it's come to this," Keller said as she approached the holding cell, feeling a prickling sensation in her eyes.

"Listen to me" Elizabeth demanded, stepping closer to the bars. "You have probed our minds. You know everything there is to know about us, so you should know we will never accept this. No matter how many times you wipe our memories, we'll always figure it out."

If she wasn't upset about the approaching attack, Keller might have been amused. Every time they came to this juncture, Elizabeth said this, almost word for word. It was true. Somehow they always figured it out.

John leaned forward and grinned. "She's right. We're genetically predisposed to being stubborn and really pesky."

"You want to understand what it means to be human, right?" Elizabeth spoke up. "You want to know what qualities might eventually lead to Ascension? You can start with _compassion."_

Keller shook her head sadly. "I understand what you're saying." And she really did. She understood now. "And under different circumstances I might even agree with you. Unfortunately it's too late."

"What are you talking about?" John asked, his voice becoming deadly serious.

Keller felt tears forming in her eyes and an odd pressure forming in her chest, but she ignored them. She had to explain it to Elizabeth and the others. "The other replicators have found us. They failed to break down our mental defenses and bring us back into the collective, so now they want to destroy us."

"Well you have to raise the shield!" Rodney insisted.

"We can't. Your creation required too much power, and we couldn't get our hands on multiple ZPMs without drawing too much attention."

"Let us out," John demanded.

"Your fellow replicators are targeting human worlds." Elizabeth spoke up again. "They are murdering _thousands_ of innocent people. If you are serious about following in the footsteps of your creators, you will let us go, so we can stop this!"

Keller wanted to let them go. She wanted to believe that they could somehow save the other humans. But… "Oberoth is too powerful."

"If this city falls, and we're destroyed with it, this will be nothing more than a wasted opportunity… a failed experiment." Elizabeth's voice became soft. "You know what that feels like."

"That's what the Ancients considered us." And for the first time, Keller felt sad about that. It wasn't an abstract thought of sorrow for wasted opportunity; it was the sadness of being abandoned. "Failed experiments."

"Well, now's your chance to prove 'em wrong." Keller had always though that John didn't understand her when he said this, but now she thought that perhaps he had always known her better than she realized. Now she did want to prove them wrong.

"All we are asking is that you give us a chance to make a difference." Elizabeth locked eyes with Keller, and she saw the sincerity in the other woman's gaze.

Tears pooled in her eyes and at last, she believed. She believed that they could make a difference. "Alright."

)(o)(

As Keller watched the five humans run to the Jumper Bay, she felt Lorne come up behind her. He wrapped his arms around her waist and rested his chin on her shoulder, watching the humans with her. They knew that there wouldn't be time for them to get to a safe place too, so they watched.

Together they watched explosions rip through the towers that they had lived in for the last year. Together they hoped that Elizabeth and the others would successfully escape. Together they hoped that Oberoth's replicators could be stopped.

"Goodbye, Elizabeth," Keller whispered, almost inaudibly. She could feel tears running down her cheeks, and Lorne tightened his arms around her, kissing her neck gently.

One final explosion rocked the tower and everything began to tilt over, but still they clung to each other. Then they were falling, Keller and Lorne, together.

"Love you," he whispered, barely audible over the roaring sounds of Oberoth's destruction.

"Love you," she replied, squeezing his hand in hers. As they fell, flames and rubble surrounding them, Keller felt Lorne's arms dissolve around her, and her vision was filled with a brilliant white light.


End file.
